10 Things only a Nurse would Understand
Finally after several duty days, you’re out with your friends. As you catch up on each other’s lives and tell each other jokes, you decided to share something a colleague joked about a few days ago. It was pretty hilarious back then and you just couldn’t wait to see your friends’ reactions.
So, with so much excitement and enthusiasm you share the joke, laughing so much that you almost didn’t get to finish it. You were laughing so hard that you’re already clutching your tummy, only to realize that you’re the only one laughing and everyone’s looking at you like “Uhm, was that supposed to be funny?” Okay, so what is wrong with these people? Can’t they see how funny that was? Why can’t they get the joke? Ugh. Now a bit disappointed you just shrug it off, say “never mind” and suggest changing the topic all while wondering what was wrong.
Some might find it frustrating, some puzzling, but no matter how much we click with our friends, if they are not from the healthcare profession, there will always be something they could not understand. Let’s take for example nursing jokes, while we might find them really funny, it may not be that comical to others (unless we take our time explaining why it should be deemed as funny). Call it our very own “nurse language” or whatever, but there are just some things only nurses would understand, things that would only make sense to those from the healthcare profession. Below are examples of which:
- Why good health is the biggest blessing any person could ask for.
Health is wealth. Right? Or wait, would you rather spend a few days “vacationing” at the hospital?
- When you need a cup for lunch, a clean specimen cup will do.
No need to ransack the cabinets. The specimen cup is here to save the day. Or if you ever need to stir something, just look for the clean tongue depressors.
- How sarcastically long your lunch breaks are.
Lunch breaks? What lunch breaks? Do we really have those?
- That feeling of getting a patient totally cleaned up and neat in the bed, only to have a flood of liquid stool overcome the chuck pads.
*face palm* moment, ladies and gentlemen.
- How much difference there is between a 12-hour and a 16-hour shift.
How much more till the shift ends? Every second feels like eons.
- Normal sleep schedules are in-existent.
Because we are zombies, we are vampires. We sleep during the day and are awake during the night. Or we do not sleep at all. *Insert evil laugh here*
- When someone asks how many days off you have and you don’t have any.
Uhm, are you really asking me that? How many days off? It would even be a miracle if I had a day off.
- When a patient makes a mess by vomiting or pooping in the bed just right before the end of your shift.
And you clean it up, because it happened during your shift and you don’t want the nurse from the next shift to get mad at you. Okay, bye.
- Those sad moments when your friends complain about their regular 9 to 5 jobs
Really, now? You want to complain? What about we exchange work shifts? It is such a rarity to be able to see the sun rise and set outside of work.
- How amazing it is to have an old patient walk back into the unit to say thanks.
It can be as simple as seeing your patient’s recover. Just, aah. Amazing. It’s like seeing your child graduate. Such an intense feeling. Thank the heavens. Hallelujah!